Where I stood
by Fact Vs Fiction
Summary: Lisa lets go... Songfic to Missy higgins' where I stood. Implied past Lisa/Shunsui, present Nanao/Shunsui. Lisa POV


Title: Where I stood

Author: FactVsFiction

Pairing: Lisa/Shunsui past Nanao/Shunsui Present

Song: Where I stood by Missy Higgins

Disclaimer: I don't own bleach or the song.

A/N: I highly recommend listening to the song while reading this. I listened while I wrote it.

**Where I stood**

Yadomaru-Lisa glanced back at the eighth division headquarters, they were shrouded in darkness. It was 3am after all… Her eyes stung and she glared, angry at herself. Yadomaru-Lisa did _not _cry.

"Yadomaru-san hurry up!" Hiyori hissed none too quietly as she tapped her foot impatiently Shinji hit her in the back of the head, causing a squabble.

Lisa looked back at her home once more. Her home for the past 25 years. On the second floor balcony a light flared to life, soft in the blanketing darkness. On said balcony stood Kyoraku-Shunsui, he leaned on the railings, just watching silently. Her breath caught and her heart settled painfully in her throat as he lifted his hand slightly in a sad wave.

"Lisa-san!"

"I'm coming!"…. _Goodbye Taichou…._

**I don't know what I've done Or if I like what I've begun But something told me to run And honey you know me it's all or none **

Even now, over one hundred years later, she still thought about that night. How easy it would have been to just stay… But she was no idiot, had she stayed she would have been long dead by now… Still, at her lowest points she wondered was it really worth it at all…

**There were sounds in my head Little voices whispering That I should go and this should end Oh and I found myself listening **

It wasn't that easy. You had to understand… that voice… it rang inside her head that night. _Run run run run run… _It had been like a mantra, over and over. Back then she hadn't recognised it. Now she knew it to be one of her best friends. Her hollow sister…

She had thought often about returning after she finally gained control… She had day dreamed for weeks, they all had at one point… but they knew it was hopeless. Still, when it all got to be too much it was a nice escape that little dream world… Everything was perfect there.

**'Cos I don't know who I am, who I am without you All I know is that I should And I don't know if I could stand another hand upon you All I know is that I should 'Cos she will love you more than I could She who dares to stand where I stood **

She'd lost herself for a while… more than a while really. It shook her, how hard she took it. How hard she took losing him. It was stupid really… they were never exclusive, never more than friends with benefits, a boss and subordinate but the thought of somebody else's hands on him made her ill. Somewhere in her past she'd fallen for Kyoraku-Shunsui.

**See I thought love was black and white That it was wrong or it was right But you ain't leaving without a fight And I think I am just as torn inside **

It made no sense. It really didn't. Over the years she had accepted it, it had taken a while but that acceptance had allowed her to heal and those feelings had faded slowly into the background. She was older, wiser and stronger now. **'Cos I don't know who I am, who I am without you All I know is that I should And I don't know if I could stand another hand upon you All I know is that I should 'Cos she will love you more than I could She who dares to stand where I stood **

Returning to soul society had been an exhausting experience. In the mist of a war Lisa hadn't much time to meet and greet, or even to think really. They ran in different circles now and Lisa hadn't even come face to face with her old Taichou in the three weeks since she'd come back. She'd seen him of course, he was hard to miss in that obnoxious pink haori. It had surprised her how composed she was. Further testament to her growth.

She figured that she'd always have some feelings for her old Captain. He'd been such a huge part of her life that he would never just vanish from her heart. But watching them now… She loved him more than Lisa ever had, ever could. And Lisa was okay with that.

The eighth division's fuku-taichou had caught Lisa's attention from the moment she saw her. At first the other woman had made her smug, their resemblance was uncanny… But when Shunsui joined her she knew it was so much more. The way they interacted, the other woman's fake frustration at his playful ways, the soft smile Shunsui wore as he gazed at her… Just the sensation with which their presence together filled the air. Shunsui had finally fallen in love and watching them together Lisa just couldn't find it in her to be upset.

It had taken her three days to learn who the Fuku-taichou was. To hear that it was Ise-Nanao had thrown her for a loop. The beautiful little girl that she had once spent evenings in heavy discussions with… Had that much time really passed? She learned their story in dribs and drabs over the next weeks.

They weren't together. It hadn't shocked Lisa that much. Nanao had been a very rule orientated child and Shunsui… Well it was just like him to fall head over heels for the one woman in seretei who could resist him…

**And I won't be far from where you are if ever you should call You meant more to me than anyone I ever loved at all But you taught me how to trust myself and so I say to you This is what I have to do **

Shunsui had taught Lisa more about herself than anyone ever had and for that she was eternally grateful. And he was still teaching, even without his knowledge.

Lisa wanted to love like that.

At least once in her life, she wanted to love like they did. She wanted to trust unconditionally, be a part of one whole, to smile like that.

Lisa wasn't sure who'd she'd be today without Kyoraku-Shunsui's input but in the end she was glad everything had happened the way it did… If only to let Nanao stand where she once stood.

**'Cos I don't know who I am, who I am without you All I know is that I should And I don't know if I could stand another hand upon you All I know is that I should 'Cos she will love you more than I could She who dares to stand where I stood Oh, she who dares to stand where I stood**

OoOoOoOoOoOo

**A/N: **Yeah I don't like it… but I'll post it anyway since I adore this song and I think it fits that trio so perfectly. Review and let me know what you think.

Becca


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